Exhaustion, Fear, Sorrow and Rage

All getting in the way of my writing.

What can I say, the election was certainly historic.

A personal friend was the victim of a Trump-fueled hate crime.

I am swinging between each of the titular emotions I listed at any given time. It's definitely getting in the way of my ability to concentrate. But today I am going to write a paragraph into the first chapter of Masks in the Glow that is directly inspired by the election. And I will continue to work on this WiP with this election in mind. After all, The City Darkens didn't come out of nowhere. I just didn't think we'd have our own dystopia unfolding within a couple of years of its publication.

I don't know what this means for the future of my writing--I had plans for the next novel(s), and they were not dystopic. And I may still go forward with the main idea--I was going to try to create a beautiful world, one that I would enjoy escaping to. Which was actually the plan with The City Darkens but then it didn't work out that way at all! But maybe now my readers need it more than ever, and I certainly will be seeking out such worlds to immerse myself in, as I choose the novels I will be reading.

"Escaping the Dome," by yumikrum on wikicommons

But I also feel like dystopia may well be the way to go. I only have so many ways to try to warn the world, to try to stop the tide--and it may be futile. Hell, it might be like painting a target on my back. I know this comes off as melodramatic, but the man asked multiple times why we don't just use our nukes. We are in a melodramatic age.

I plan to join some progressive groups locally and I have another plan I'm following through on but it's going to be a few months before I get a sense of whether it's likely to come to fruition.

No matter what, I have to get back to writing. I am not really well unless I'm writing--at least not in times like these.

Inspired to make a pledge

Okay, I know this is going to sound cheesy, but I was watching an episode of Glee, where they're singing Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror," and I got really inspired.* Not to write (although I've had a lot of inspiration for writing lately, for which I am grateful), but to make a pledge. It's still a bit hazy, but let's see... I pledge that when I break $1000 in sales (this is still quite far off), I will donate $100 to some sort of children's charity. It was a line in the song about not having a right to ignore a hungry child's need... Anyway, once I break $1000, $100 to a children's charity. And when (yes, when) I start making at least $500 a month in sales, I'll sponsor a child. I did this before for a while but had to stop because money just got too tight. I'd like to do it again. And if I ever become one of those epub authors who makes more than $50,000 a year, maybe we'll adopt a child. That's something I've always wanted to do, and if you ever read my family blog you'll know it's something we may have to do if we want a second child (although that's still not a sure thing). Adoption is so expensive though, so I'd have to be making a lot more than I am now to even consider it.

*This is weird for a couple of reasons: first off, I'm really not sure what to think about Michael Jackson when it comes to children, and unless you knew him personally, you can't honestly tell me you have all the facts either. But I am uncomfortable with at least some of what I do know, so for him to inspire me to want to make a pledge to help children, well... Anyway, secondly, it's all the more apparent that I am a sucker for Glee performances, because the previous performance in the show, a mash-up of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" and Destiny's Child's "Survivor" already had me all worked up thinking I could take on the world. This is nothing new, actually. I straight up cried during Amber Riley's performance of "Beautiful"--and I still do every time I watch it.

So anyway, you folks who read this blog can hold me to my pledge. I will announce it when I break $1000, and you can say, "Hey, that means $100 to a children's charity!" and you can even suggest some good ones.

How about you, have you been inspired in unlikely ways lately? Do you have any pledges you've made or would like to make?

After a long hiatus...

Hi everyone! Let me start by saying, THANK YOU for sticking around despite my disappearing act these last couple of months. I've been focused on everything but writing, and since I intend for this blog to mainly address writing, it seemed better to wait until I had something to say about that. Here are some brief news updates, not all of which have to do with writing:

Fun Summer Stuff:
Jeff and I have been having a great time this summer. Among other things, we went to Reno for our anniversay and renewed our vows in the presence of the King. That's right, we got (re)married by Elvis.

We also saw a concert by Chris Isaac, who has now rocketed to the top of my favorite performers list. If you're ever considering seeing him in concert, hesitate no more, just go.

The Pregnancy:
I'm 20 weeks along, doing well! The baby is BOY. I was dreaming of a girl, so I had this moment of adjustment where I had to let her go, but I find that my new dreams of the boy are wonderful, and I'm super excited about him. And, surprisingly, I have discovered that boy clothes are actually cuter. Usually.

The Move/Rental Debacle:
So frustrating. I'm actually not going to go into a lot of detail here, because it still makes me mad. The short version: we're out of the house and the owner is prohibited from pursuing us for anything above the deposit, but she did get to keep that ($2000) as a settlement, and Jeff has since run into her and she admits we did no damage but shows no remorse for having extorted us. Meanwhile we've been living with my inlaws but are now going to try to find our own place.

The eBooks:
Good news there, as I've managed to sell somewhere between 6 and 12 without doing any promo. I even sold two on B&N this month (very first Nook sales). Someone reviewed "Veronica in Paris" and gave it 5 stars, so, awesomeness. And all of this came as a complete surprise as I haven't done more than throw out the occassional tweet, about how I'm not writing, since, like, May.

The Writing:
I've done a little bit of revising, and about 6 weeks ago I wrote something like 3000 words, but it's been, to say the least, patchy. HOWEVER, the time has come to BUCKLE DOWN. The plan is: go to the gym to swim 30+ laps every morning first thing, then at least on the weekdays, off to the internet cafe for two hours of writing. Today was all about getting back into the platform (hence this post). I plan to finish the revisions I've been doing (on the sequel to The River and the Roses) tomorrow. After that, I want to reconnect with my online writing groups (I'm waving at you, Mary, and also at you, Mare, as well as at Will and everyone else on WSE). Sooo... with a little discipline I should be back on the horse soon. :)

How have you been? Has your summer been more productive than mine? Has it been as much fun as mine?

Update for the Week

Well, this week there is good news and bad news. Good news: I sold a book! Considering the fact I did close to no promo (that's the bad news, also very little writing or editing), that's pretty wonderful.

Here's the thing, folks. I'm pregnant. Yep, about a week after I wrote that blog entry about being child-free I found out. I'm due in December. This is my first experience with pregnancy and I vascillate between joy and terror. I'm 38, which means the pregnancy is higher risk than it would typically be for a 25 year old, but so far all my tests are good.

The biggest downside is, I'm exhausted most of the time. My friend tells me I'm building a placenta and that's a big job. Okay, but I'm a writer! I need to write! A lot! Yeah. My body has other plans, involving eating crackers while lounging on the couch and watching 40s movies. And of course, I still have to go to work, and some days it's really really stressful. We had a day last week where three kids got suspended (I personally suspended one of them: a six foot tall, 250 pound, 18 year old country boy who likes to bully women) and a fourth got arrested and spent the week in the hall for threatening to stab his teacher (the same woman who told me about the exhaustion of building a placenta, actually). So the writing and everything associated to it has been suffering.

Nevertheless, I will write! My big plan for May was to do a pseudo NaNoWriMo to get 50K words written on Veronica book 3. Realistically, it probably won't be 50K. I also planned to edit the heck out of Book 2 in the hopes of being able to publish it soon. The good news is, school lets out for summer June 10, which is also the start of my 2nd trimester, and I'm told the second trimester is the least exhausting. We will be moving either in June or July, so that will take a chunk of time and energy, but I'm still hopeful that the summer will be a productive time. I really want to get Book 2 out because I plan to lower the price of River to $0.99 promotionally when I do and I'm optimistic about sales picking up then.

What kinds of crazy, unexpected things have been popping up in your life, and making achieving your writing goals harder than you expected? Do you have children? How do you find the time to write as a parent?